Joseph Tegerdine takes a last drive in his Mustang, dies at 19 of cancer
Ford CEO Jim Farley: 'Joseph touched all of us'
Joseph Tegerdine, a teenager who inspired strangers he never met to think about squeezing happiness from every minute of every day in this life, died Nov. 22.
Tegerdine, 19, died at his home in Springville, Utah, with his parents by his side. Bone cancer had devoured his body, family said.
Word of his death spread quickly after his father posted a message on X, the site formerly known as Twitter: “I awoke to Joseph’s shallow breathing at 02:50 this morning, it’s something we’ve been expecting for months. We sat at his bedside and comforted him until his last breath at 03:14. Words cannot express the depth of grief that he has moved on, nor the tremendous joy that he is no longer suffering. I look forward to the day that he and I will be able to run and jump and play together again.”
Joseph Tegerdine made headlines in March after his father granted his son’s wish to own and drive a 2020 Ford Mustang because his child didn’t have enough hours left in his life to earn and save the money needed working at Sodalicious — though he had tried.
"I've just liked Mustangs for as long as I can remember," — since age 6, Joseph told the Detroit Free Press in March 2024. "I used to drive this Ford Bronco. It was a big truck, basically. I'd get compliments and I'd feel so manly. We sold that and I started driving my mom's minivan, a Honda Odyssey. I felt like my testosterone was being drained away. Not great."
He laughed, continuing: "In a Mustang I feel like a man again. It's the silliest thing. When you get in and start it, the car just rumbles around you. It's not a noise, it's a feeling. When you take corners, you can feel you're being pushed through the corner from the back. I like the way rear-wheel drive feels. When you turn the (steering) wheel, what I feel are cleaner turns."
Dad, the general manager of North America for Reencle home composting systems who scratched off the wish list item for his son, wrote on X: "For those wondering why I’d buy my 18yr old son a 330hp Mustang, well, he’s been given months to live and can’t work long enough to buy one himself. His comment on the way home, 'Dad, I’m going to squeeze a few extra months of life just to be able to drive this.' #cancersucks"
That March 2 post garnered more than 13 million views, 170,000 likes and more than 3,200 comments.
After the initial story broke, Ford CEO Jim Farley contacted the family to offer the father and son a day at the track. They accepted.
On Friday, Joe Tegerdine publicly thanked Jim Farley, who himself has acknowledged experiencing the loss of a child, for the “experience of a lifetime. He wasn’t able to do much after that trip so the timing was perfect.”
In response to news of the death, Farley wrote on X, “Joe, Joseph touched all of us at @Ford. We are so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing a small part of his life with us. Our hearts are with you and your family during this difficult time.”
Farley, himself a race car driver, also telephoned Joe Tegerdine to extend condolence, the family said. It was one of many calls from all over the country and the world.
“Cancer is a horrible disease that hurts so many of us and too many suffer alone,” Joe Tegerdine wrote on X. “I hope his life will continue to inspire people to embrace today and love more fully. He never lost his concern for others even in his darkest hour. It is a privilege being his father. He will be missed.”
(Joe Tegerdine bears the same name as his son. For clarity, we’ll refer to him as Joe and his son as Joseph.)
A sore knee turns into a death sentence
In seventh grade, Joseph played football and already was 5 to 6 inches taller than classmates. Coach had him playing center and running back. Then he grew 8 inches to 5-foot-11-inches tall. A hallmark of bone cancer is sudden and extreme growth, Joseph noted.
In seventh grade, he complained of soreness after football. He told his mother, Kerry, a nurse, that knee pain was keeping him up at night.
So the parents — living in Melissa, Texas, at the time — took their boy for X-rays, and doctors noticed what appeared to be a calcium deposit on the right knee. They did an MRI to be sure, and called to confirm it was osteosarcoma, a form of cancer. A biopsy came next, and then chemotherapy, Joe said.
A kid who wanted to be an engineer tested out of high school because cancer treatments dominated his life.
"Life is just going in a certain direction and then, it's hard to even explain how quickly things changed for the entire family," the father said. "I can't remember how many weeks passed and treatments but they had to take a big portion of his right leg to remove the tumor. He had a 'rotationplasty,' where they cut out the bad bone and rotate your lower leg, take the tibia and fibula, and reattach to the femur.”
In the end, despite the rapid spreading of the disease or perhaps because of it, living life to the fullest became his mission. Joseph never spoke of the pain or having a prosthesis in place of a right leg. He changed those around him, and those who followed his father’s reports on social media.
The outpouring of love was astonishing. Neighbors who had lost a daughter to murder-suicide visited the Tegerdine home to offer comfort, Joe said, pausing the interview as he cried quietly.
A final ride in his beloved Mustang
On Oct. 11, Joseph’s 19th birthday, his father carried his son’s body to the Mustang, carefully placing him in the passenger seat, for a last drive together.
Knowing the end is near
Cannon Flake, 53, of Mapleton, Utah, whose daughter has dated Joseph for two years, said the sadness is overwhelming.
“It’s kind of weird when someone knows they're not going to be around a long time. Rather than be discouraged or down or negative, he always had the attitude that he would lift people up around him and just enjoy his time and be as happy as possible,” Flake said. “That brought him a lot of happiness and energy and joy and enthusiasm in life — going after the things you want and enjoy and spending time with people you love. That's what he'd want us to take away from his time.”
He was just a bright, happy kid and always positive despite his fight, Flake said.
His wife and daughter went to be with the Tegerdine family about 4 a.m.
Finding laughter despite the pain
In the days leading up to the death, temperatures in Utah dropped and then rose, and the sky grew clear. It was windy but the dark blue sky was clear with a new moon, Joe said.
“It was just really pretty,” he said. “The big thing was, even with everything he was going through, and all the pain, didn’t ruin his sweetness, even in the final hours.”
Late on the day of his son’s death, Joe said all the years of cancer treatment cannot prepare a parent for when a child is actually gone.
“You think, just because he suffered so bad the last four months -- it was awful,” Joe said. “Tumors grew up into his spine and paralyzed him from the waist down. He was pretty much bedridden from bone cancer. The hip is where it really attacked and where he was in a lot of pain in April and May. Then by June, he could barely walk. By July, he was wheelchair bound. By mid-July, he couldn't make it to his bedroom so we put him in our bedroom. In a few weeks, Joseph had no feeling in his lower chest down and tumors formed on his neck, around his collarbones, in his throat, on his chest, arms, everywhere.”
Hours before Joseph passed, he was trying to signal to his parents something he wanted. He put his finger under his nose and began sniffing. They couldn’t figure it out. It was like playing charades. It looked like someone sniffing cocaine. They asked if he wanted Coke? And, yep, he wanted a sip of Coca-Cola.
And they all laughed.
Joseph would take his last breath approximately three hours later.
Thinking about that lighter moment, and the end of his suffering, offers comfort for Joe and Kerry Tegerdine now, they said.
Lessons learned, going for a run
Lily Flake, who turns 19 in just a few days, has known Joseph since he was 15.
And their last two years together have seared a lifetime of memories and lessons.
“I learned things that I think people at 40 or 50 still don't know,” Lily said. “Having each other in our lives was an act of love from God. Loving each other unconditionally, always being there for each other, always making the other person feel like they were enough and still wanting them to even be better, that's got to be what it feels like to be loved by God.”
She watched as Joseph was taken away, after weeks in hospice care at home.
Then she went to his old bedroom and fell asleep.
“There are things that Joseph told me he wanted me to think about after he passed. He told me to not shut out opportunity for joy when he was gone or place a time limit on when happiness was allowed in my life. He told me to have all things he couldn't have on this earth, like having a happy family and building my faith and building a life.”
Joseph asked his girlfriend of 28 months to go for a run after he was gone. Running is something they both used to love.
“He was an amputee and his body was racked with pain, just battling this cancer. I haven't run in a long time, so I’m going to go on that run with him,” Lily said.
“I really loved Joseph. We spent so so much time together and I really would have loved to have a future with him … I know that we'll always be in each other's hearts and minds. we completely changed each other's lives,” she said.
“I think I get it now, I get what's important. I would never let anyone tell me that I'm less than what Joseph knew what I was and what I now know I am. Joseph had such a clear sightedness,” Lily said. “He spent his life making people feel loved. He lived his life so fully and richly. He didn't waste his time doing anything less than things that seemed really important to him. That's changed me. I used to be so afraid of life, kind of afraid of everything. But now I know what a gift it is, life.”
One of their last real dates, she said, was a drive to Utah Lake to see the stars. Lily drove. It was springtime
“I was going really, really fast and it as super fun. And Joseph was laughing,” Lily said. “I was so happy. Then we went on these back country roads. We thought he would be gone by August but he has been holding onto life for so long, to tell us he loves us.”
The last time he went to Lily’s home was to see her get her mission call, when she opened the letter in front of nearly 100 friends and family. She will be going in early 2025 to Preston, England, to study French and prepare to be a Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints missionary in Paris.
Joseph knew she would be leaving soon.
One day, she said, maybe she’ll become a journalist.
“It’s so hard right now. We were so happy,” Lily said. “I would just want to tell people, when you have something good, don't take it for granted. Let the other person know how you feel. Focus everything you can into loving them.”
People have asked where they might donate in memory of Joseph, but the family is urging people to honor their son with action.
“The only time Joseph ever showed frustration was when he ran into people who had every reason to live a good life and didn’t,” Kerry Tegerdine said. “Go enjoy your life because you have one. That’s really what Joseph would say.”
A celebration of life will be held on Friday, Dec. 6 at 6 p.m. at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 950 S. 1700 E St., Springville, Utah. Appetizers and desserts to follow.
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wow
This made me cry and it made me smile. He was a beautiful soul and wise beyond his years.